Many a times I am puzzled by the relation that is friendship. Social convention dictates that one should at least have a friend or two. I mean sure friends are great …until they’re not. Most people tend to think of a friend as a person who will always be there for them, a person who gets them, someone to tell them that they’re right even when they’re not…one to soften the blow when everything doesn’t work out alright…a person who can do them no wrong…someone to live by their rulebook. Like a better version of themselves if you may. All this sounds too good to be true and it often is. Truth be told what human being could possibly put another’s needs above their own?
I have found that often when you have high expectations from someone they tend to disappoint. We all hate to be disappointed especially by those we hold dear to us. Here is where I get confused why give someone you have no relation whatsoever such power over you….the power to make you happy, to make you laugh, to make you sad and cry, to make you angry…even the power to make you want to change who you are…I just don’t get it.
Often when friends fallout they tend to treat it even more harshly than treason would be. This if you ask me is overly dramatic. This person who was once very important gets shut out never to be spoken of, never to be spoken to they become dead and worst of all…forgotten. All this for one’s own selfish reasons maybe because they didn’t get you a gift on your birthday or they became friends with someone you don’t like…now here’s the one I completely do not fathom when you decide that someone is no longer worthy of your friendship because they hooked up or maybe they just found happiness and affection in your ex-lover. I get it its hard on you to see your friend happy with someone you couldn’t find happiness in…but hey, life is unfair…you can’t be mad when things don’t go your way. The saddest part is the juvenile and foolish reasoning that is used to back this up…apparently if he/she wasn’t good enough for me they’re not good enough for you. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe you just wasn’t good enough for them…I mean who are you to dictate matters of the heart, especially someone else’s heart.
From experience I’ve found that when a group of friends are together, they tend to trash talk the absent member of the circle which is outright hypocritical…what then when that missing member is you. Sometimes you may wonder why bad things happen to you, once in your entire existence you have done something wrong to a friend maybe they deserved it but most likely it was for your own selfish reasons well, its karma coming back to get you.
In my opinion I think most people expect too much from those they consider friends, let’s be clear this person owes you nothing so you can’t tell them what to do or what not to do. But then again that is my opinion I could be right, I could be wrong…how do airplanes work..? I don’t have all the answers. I can tell you this though, it takes a lot to be a good friend I think if you find someone who is there when you need to talk…offers their help where they can…remembers you birthday and tells you when you’re being foolish then that’s enough. If you happen to find someone willing to give you more, then good for you…but do not be selfish.
So if you have lost a friend or two due to your own selfish reasons you may want to make amends before the voices in your head be like… “I bet you wish you never burned that bridge, now you’d like to cross it huh…”