In her eyes

5

 IMG-20151003-WA0001Ever thought of whether ours isn’t the first world? Like before all the knowledge that we have of things that once existed. Dinosaurs and dragons, castles, knights and princesses, stone age and the time of no civilization, if at all these did exist. Even before this universe. Don’t you ever wonder if there was another world, another life, another you…

But of course at one point or other you have. So what did you imagine it as? In the Bible a wise man, in fact the wisest to ever have lived said, “There is nothing new under the sun.” So could it mean that before us there was once a world just like ours, and maybe they who lived at that time, and who might have been us, were so advanced in technology to the extent that nothing could stop man from doing anything. Of course exempting The Almighty. Maybe that’s why the award winning scripters and authors of today get such crazy ideas for fictional books and movies. Maybe it usually is just a glimpse of the memory of what we actually lived through once in our lives, in another world. Only that The Almighty cannot allow us the privilege of that knowledge. What fun would that be anyway. For if He, The Almighty, did allow that privilege, that is of sharing all His wisdom, it would mean that He would no longer be The Almighty. Even the wisest man Solomon did not have all the answers. For if he did, he’d be alive today. I believe so. But I’m not challenging the Bible, that’s just part of my thinking.

They say we see a blue sky, blue waters… oceans and seas, because where the blue is, is where the eye’s ability to see reaches. Which means everything has a limit. There’s a limit to how much you can eat and drink. A limit to how much work you can do in a day. A limit to how much money you can withdraw from an ATM. A limit to the type of questions you can ask a person… or The Almighty. A limit to all the good things you can do, and all the bad you can manage. There’s a limit to everything. That is why even if there was a world, maybe ten, before this one, we wouldn’t know, because there’s a limit to how much knowledge we can have. As I said before, even The Almighty didn’t share all His knowledge and wisdom with Solomon.

In the same way there’s a limit to what you can do in relation to how far your morals allow you to go. Some people have none, sorry if you’re one, some have some, just a little bit, others, like myself, have a considerable measure, (hey, you have to know yourself), while others live by them day and night. Being in the category that I am in, the measure of morals that I have doesn’t allow my conscience to rest knowing what I’m doing. Cheating.

You would argue that maybe they might also be cheating on me. And I won’t deny that I have asked myself, how can you be so sure. Thing is, I’m not. I can’t be. I cannot know for sure whether or not anyone of them is cheating on me or not. And even if they are, so what? Doesn’t mean I should do the same. Everything done in the darkness shall come out to the light, so the Bible says. So I believe. Therefore, sooner or later, they’d get caught. And I will get caught, soon, if I didn’t end it all… soon… Besides I don’t want to belong to the Cheaters’ club. Not at all.

It’s almost as though I have two personalities. The one with morals, who wants to lead a peaceful life, one man-one girl kind of relationship, abstain till marriage, church girl… it goes on. And this other one, who loves all things wrong, craves attention and danger, provokes madness, wants to have the whole cake and eat it too. But that’s a story for a different day. For now, I choose to go with good Cass. And good Cass says that I only need Dave, no one else.

And thus marks the end of an era in my life. Seeing as Alex went silent on me, I guess it’s safe to say that the message was passed across successfully. Or maybe it was him sending me the message. Works well for me either way.

I guess what I’m trying to say is no matter what you do, or what is happening, there’s a limit to all things. Besides, you just get tired of it all, if you’re growing that is. It’s like child’s play. It gets lonely. Like when Rihanna says “there’s no one to call coz I’m just playing games with them all”. I don’t have to spell it out for you.

There’s a limit to all things, except from The Almighty’s abilities, that I believe. Limit to how long you can be a child, and how long you can play games, how much loneliness I can take, even with three men, now less two.

This is my limit.

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